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Your Body Presents It's Bill
By Karol Ward, LCSW
http://www.karolward.com
Oprah Winfrey recently admitted to a 40lb weight gain. In addition to being diagnosed with a thyroid problem, Oprah stated she didn’t make herself a priority on her “to do” list. She felt angry and embarrassed about letting the weight gain happen and resolved to start a new health regimen in the New Year. Many of us can relate to Oprah’s struggle.
Between balancing work and family, maintaining a healthy lifestyle often takes a back seat.
Refocusing on a healthy diet and exercise program, the “how and what” of weight management, gets most people back on track behaviorally. Knowing how you want to approach your choices to food and exercise, and what you need to do to be successful, will help you feel in control. However, it is the why-the emotional understanding of what lies beneath weight gain that will help you lose and ultimately maintain your weight in the long run. That understanding provides you with one of the most valuable tools you need to manage your health.
When someone starts to gain weight, with no known medical reasons, it’s usually because they are handling the pressures of life with food. Those stresses can include issues such as job loss, relationship problems and work demands. Many people who tend to overeat turn to food for comfort, to de-stress, to stuff anger or push beyond their exhaustion. Because of this, unless the reasons for overeating are understood, the person’s use of food to manage feelings will continue until they reach a point of ill health, have gained weight or feel a sense of self loathing. These symptoms are the body’s way of presenting it’s bill for food being used as a coping mechanism.
It’s important thing to remember that most people don’t want to turn to an unhealthy behavior to cope and are sometimes not even aware that the urge to eat is connected to unexpressed feelings. In fact, those who struggle with compulsive or binge eating often describe it as an overwhelming need. They feel compelled to engage in these behaviors and are unconscious about why they are eating when they aren’t hungry. Afterwards, when they feel lousy from the unhealthy food choices or have gained weight, they inevitably feel the same shame and anger that Oprah expressed.
Using excess food to cope develops for many psychological and emotional reasons. Over time, it becomes a way to manage uncomfortable feelings from either the past or the present. Until there is an understanding, release and resolution to what you’re feeling, the choice to manage emotions through overeating will happen again.
How can you make a connection to what your body is expressing emotionally when you start to gain weight? Try this four-step process I created called S.A.N.E. SM
S. Stop
Stop for a minute, five minutes, or an hour; simply give yourself the time to catch your breath. Whether you’re waiting to pick up your kids, sitting at a desk, or commuting on the train, take a moment for yourself. Try some slow deep breathing, listen to soothing music or just shut your eyes.
A. Acknowledge
Acknowledge that something is going on in your life that is causing you to cope by overeating. If possible, write down some of the activities or issues you are currently balancing and how you feel about then. See if there’s a link between what you’re handling and the desire to overeat.
N. Normalize
Normalize the fact that you’ve chosen food to manage your emotions. Instead of berating yourself, recognize that you and many others choose the same coping mechanism. When you understand that you’re making a choice to handle emotions and stress with food, you move from a place of helplessness to awareness.
E. Evaluate
Once you become aware, you can evaluate what’s needed. This could range from sharing your feelings with someone, removing things from your busy schedule or using movement to release mental and emotional stress. When you create the space to breathe, feel and think, you have a better chance of discovering solutions.
Remember, the body-mind connection is strong and can be a powerful resource for you. The more you make conscious the link between feelings and food, the more information you will get on what you need to break the cycle of overeating. Once you have awareness, you will be able to create different and healthier options.
© 2008 Karol Ward, LCSW
Karol Ward, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and professional speaker. Her new book, Find Your Inner Voice: Using Instinct and Intuition Through the Body-Mind Connection (Career Press, 2009) is available in bookstores now. For more information or to book Karol as a speaker, go to www.karolward.com
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